Fate in a Trenchcoat
by trycee
Summary: This is the episode of All Things through Scully's eyes. This is an redo of Fate in a Trenchcoat that was published by Fanfiction in 2010.
1. Chapter 1

**Fate in a Trench Coat**

**by Trycee**

**Time Frame: All Things, Season 7: Scully has to confront her guilt over the past.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, its owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I wrote this for fun not profit.**

*****I first wrote this in August 2010 but I thought I'd update it.**

Mulder has always been clueless when it comes to women hitting on him. He's especially clueless when it comes to me. I am so sexually frustrated that I can barely stand looking at him. No, I don't want to run off to England and look for crop circles, Mulder. I have a better an idea of what we could do but again, clueless. God, Mulder! I want to settle down and I don't think he'll ever get to that point. Meanwhile we're getting older and more sexually frustrated and life is passing us by. I'm growing older, I'm growing tired, and my body is screaming for him and yet he only wants to talk about crop circles and aliens.

Sometimes I just want to hit him when he doesn't understand my need to slow down. I want a life with him, together as a couple. I want more than to be his FBI partner. I want him to touch me and kiss me and love me the way I crave. Will he ever grow up? I'm not sure I can wait another seven years to find out. I was thinking about Mulder, of course, when the mix up of the files in the hospital happened and I fount out that Daniel was there. I stood looking at my past and all my shame and emotions came rushing back to me as if the past ten years hadn't happened.

Maggie Waterston and I had been best friends in college. We were roommates and we shared most of our time together all through medical school. She was as close to me as my sister Melissa. I had always fell for older men and I had my eye on a certain professor, though I wasn't sure of his name. That's when Maggie introduced me to her father, my upcoming professor. He was so much older than me, wiser, and powerful and I was aware of my attraction to him and I was ashamed but I was intrigued when he seemed to be attracted to me as well. Before I knew it sparks flew and we started an affair in secret.

It wasn't unusual for some college girls to date their professors and I was no exception at the time. I hung on his every word. He promised me marriage, children, and everything I could ever want in life and I believed him. We kept our relationship a secret because he was my professor, my mentor, but also because we didn't want Maggie finding out. I felt guilty but it was exciting too; doing something I wasn't supposed too. How could I tell her that her father had been the guy I was seeing? Oh, the guys all through college and even in medical school wanted to date me but I was always drawn to older men. My therapist said that though I was a confident, professional, independent woman, I was drawn to older powerful men because I was always trying to compensate for my need for approval from my Naval captain father. There may be some truth to that, I suppose. All the men that I have loved including Mulder, I had been solely devoted too and were usually older than me and in a higher position than me.

I was looking for love and devotion back then and I saw it in this older man that made my head swirl. I was young and he was very powerful and I was drawn to him. The boys my age that I had dated previously only wanted sex out of me but this was a real man who knew what he wanted and what he wanted was me! I didn't recognize that he was controlling. I willing gave over my power to him. I wanted to be the woman he wanted to mold into his future wife. I wanted to be whatever he told me to be. He promised devotion to me and he promised me children, a career in medicine, everything that I dreamed of. He promised me things I had dreamed of as a little girl, to be a prominent doctor with a successful husband as well and he made me believe it was all possible. And then my world came crashing down. Maggie introduced me to her mother Barbara and I saw the wedding ring on her finger. I stared at her ring for the longest time as both Maggie and Barbara looked at each other. _**Daniel is still**_ _**married,**_ the thought came crashing around me, enveloping me with shame so thick I could hardly breath.

My face reddened as I stood in front of Barbara and Maggie and I was horrified. I was disgusted with myself and ashamed of us. I was so naïve back then. I immediately tried to stop seeing Daniel, cursing the day I had ever met him but he wouldn't let me go so easily. He confessed to his wife Barbara about us much to my shock. I was ashamed. I was hurt that he'd betray me by telling his wife but mostly I felt extreme guilt. I had deceived Maggie and because of the affair I had with her father, without a word, she was gone. There was no note, nothing. I came back to our shared dorm room to find her side empty except for the plastic mattress. I later learned that she dropped out of medical school. I always felt guilty not only for sneaking around behind her back but because I had caused so much damage to her life and our friendship.

I knew that if my parents found out they would be ashamed of me especially Ahab. Good Catholic Girls don't become Home Wreckers. Daniel tried to convince me to stay, he tried to convince me to stick to medicine and to remain with him. It was hard breaking from him. I wasn't sure if I could but then I realized that I knew I needed to escape him and my past and it was part of my reason for joining the FBI. Then there was Jack for a year, then Ethan briefly and then later came Mulder, though we are still at a stand-still in our relationship, if you could call it that. It's _still taking __me__ such a long __time_ to show Mulder I love him because I'm scared to trust again, to let go of my heart...

But when I walked into Daniel's hospital room and I saw Maggie, I was too afraid, not wanting her to see me, ducking away. And then I saw Daniel laying in that bed and he looked so much older, much weaker than I'd ever thought he would and those past feelings came rushing through. I stood there, my mind going back to the last time I saw him years ago when he had begged me to stay. I had been vulnerable with my heart breaking feeling ashamed and guilty and confused. I loved him but yet I had become the other woman and I wasn't sure I could make it on my own. When I tried to walk out the door, he had grabbed me roughly, crushing his lips to mine trying to force me to kiss him. I barely was able to push him away. I told him that he scared me. I saw the look in his eyes but I then I turned and walked away. Now here I stood looking at the shell of the man I knew. What had those years since I left him done to him, I wondered. Daniel's hair was more gray than it had been and a single tear ran down his cheek. I didn't want to see him. I was going to push him back out of mind until she called...

"You came to see him," Maggie said on the phone.

"I'm sorry, who is this?", I asked, standing near my window at home.

"Margaret Waterston," she said.

"Maggie...Is everything alright? "

"That depends doesn't it."

"I'm sorry?"

"Whatever," she spoke. "Dr. Kopeikan told my father that you were here and now he wants to see you."

"About what?", I asked.

"Look," she said angrily. "He asked me to call so I'm calling..."

"I don't know. I don't Maggie, " I stuttered. "I don't know if I have the time."

"Don't know if you have the time," she sneered.

The phone had beeped. "Maggie, can you hold on, I have another call coming through."

"Look...Listen," she began. "If you come, it doesn't mean I accept you being in his life.", she said hanging up.

Mulder had interrupted Thank God, he was good at that. But I was still angry with him and confused about the Maggie/Daniel situation so I was short with him but when I told him 'I'd try for him', I meant more than what he thought. I loved him and it hurt that we were fighting. I don't know why but I never wanted to disappoint him and even though picking up some papers for him was the last thing I wanted to do I knew I would, of course, but it also meant that I would be going in the direction of Daniel, near the hospital and that meant inviting my past into the present.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Fate in a Trench Coat**

**Part 2**

**by Trycee**

**Time Frame: All Things, Season 7: Scully has to confront her guilt over the past.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, its owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I wrote this for fun not profit.**

*****I first wrote this in August 2010 but I thought I'd update it.**

Standing in the hallway of the hospital, I told myself to just do it, just walk through the door but when I entered I was caught off guard. Wrong room. Alright Dana, get brave again. Deal with your demons. My feet wanted to drag but I prepared myself as I stood a few yards from his bed. He noticed me first and I noticed Maggie. She pushed past me exiting and I stood there as the shame hit me square in the eyes. At that moment I wasn't Dr. Scully. or Special Agent Scully, I was a Home wrecker, the Mistress all over again.

As Daniel stared at me, I felt like that young girl all over again. There were no feelings of love no, but I felt like when he looked at me I was still in my early twenties, still looking to him for the answers, for him to tell me which way to go in my life, to be that girl who needed his approval like a drug. After bantering with him a bit, I asked how he happened to be in Washington and then he grabbed my hand. His hands felt familiar, colder, older, and uncomfortable but I tried my best to hide that as I laid my hand in his. He gripped my hand tighter, he was looking for a ring and didn't find one and I could see the smirk on his face. I sat down as he continued holding my hand, it no longer fit, my hand in his but I was trying to be polite. It felt again like I was a cheater with my hands, only this time on Mulder.

"How's the FBI?", he asked, still holding my hand as I tried tactfully to remove it but he wouldn't let go.

"Is that why you wanted to see me?", I asked. "To remind me once again what a bad choice I made? "

He pressed my hand to his mouth and then rubbed it against his face. "Believe me my motivation is far more selfish then that."

I sighed, "You scare me Daniel." He finally let go of my hand.

"I know," he said, visibly hurt by my words. "I scare you because I represented that which is ingrained not only in your mind but in your heart... that which you secretly longed for..."

"You never accepted my reason for leaving", I told him.

"There was no reason, it was an excuse," he said, bitterly.

I looked at him then, all the memories brought up to the surface. "But you understood why," I continued.

"I can't believe the FBI is a passion not like medicine."

I knew he would think that of course. It was the same reasoning he had given me years ago trying to convince me to stay with him despite Barbara's and Maggie's feelings of betrayal. I stood up then, "I'm sorry I came."

He touched my face and rubbed his fingers against my cheek. He used to do that and it made me weak, now his touch_ was_ weak, cold and odd. When Mulder touched my face, there was a fire that erupted through me and this touch was nothing like that. It was a memory of a touch but one I did not need anymore. .

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," I said, without looking at him. He saw that his touch no longer worked and he saw the pain in my eyes. "I know how difficult it must've been for you just walking through that door. But you wouldn't have come if you didn't want too."

My head had been down but I raised it at that.

"That says something doesn't it...", he continued.

But as I stood there looking into his eyes I wondered if I did want to be there. So much in my life had changed but standing there with Daniel it was as if all the accomplishments in my life never existed. I was standing in his shadow. I was still that girl looking for his approval, his love, and his authority.

When I jumped into my car, Mulder called me. I was relieved to hear his voice actually. He said he had the address of the woman, Colleen who researched crop circles and he wanted me to... And then I saw her, I nearly hit her, the woman in the trench coat. I slammed on my brakes barely missing her and as I sat there in the car, a truck plowed past just where I'd almost hit her and if I hadn't seen the woman, the truck would've struck me possibly killing me. I turned back towards the woman in the trench coat and she turned to smile at me. I sat there a moment. There was something strange about that woman. I nearly hit her and she turns to smile at me? But if not for her I would have been killed. How strange! Was it coincidence or more? I could hear Mulder's voice, I had dropped the phone.

After meeting Colleen, Mulder's contact and realizing we had seen each other in the hospital when I mistakenly walked into the wrong room, and after brushing off her crop circle research and her mumble jumble about slowing down, _**Right like that will ever happen.**__ I_t was like time stopped as the papers she handed me fell all over the front stoop. And time just slowed. As I gathered the papers I saw the Heart Chakra and I don't know why it stood out to me. I'd seen hundreds of crop circle photos working with Mulder, we'd even investigated a few that turned out to be bogus, but for some reason that photo spoke to me. My phone rang and I found myself right back at Daniels hospital room, with Maggie standing there and Dr. Kopeikan.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Fate in a Trench Coat**

**Part 3**

**by Trycee**

**Time Frame: All Things, Season 7: Scully has to confront her guilt over the past.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, its owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I wrote this for fun not profit.**

*****I first wrote this in August 2010 but I thought I'd update it.**

"Ah, hurricane Scully has arrived." Daniel said.

"I was summoned, " I said angrily.

I barely heard him, I was waiting for Maggie to tear out of the room but she stayed a bit, not looking at me. I couldn't help but look at her. I finally tuned in to the words, 'Prednisone'.

At that Maggie and Dr. Kopeikan looked at me. I gave my opinion on using it and it was NOT appreciated by either of them. I could see Maggie's face tightening, her mouth forming words she hadn't spoken as Dr. Kopeikan glared at me. He walked off leaving me to face Maggie and I knew whatever she would say would sting.

She had a smirk on her face, "You come off so rational," she said, looking directly at me her arms crossed. "But maybe you know less than you think." She glanced once at her father and walked past me.

I didn't know what to say."She's so..." I whispered, my gaze on the floor.

"She's been through some difficult times," he answered. "She's very angry."

Well obviously I thought. "How did she even find out?", I said, I always wondered.

"There's things you don't know," he said lying in the bed. I stood a few feet away my hands on my hips. "Things I'm not proud of," he continued.

I walked closer to him, "What things," I asked.

"I screwed up Dana. Things got bad at home after..."

Nervously I looked behind me as if I expected her to be there. I sat down, the weight of it all too heavy. "Bad how?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you," he continued. "It was hard for me when you walked away. I shut down from my family. Needless to say it was very difficult for Barbara."

Her name stung me, my heart ripped."You're divorced?"

"Yeah, it was a terminal period of discomfort for us both."

"Where did you go?"

He turned to look at me. "Here. Washington."

"When?", I asked surprised.

"Almost 10 yrs ago."

"Daniel...", I whispered, tears starting to form in my eyes. "You didn't move here for me?"

I could barely hear what he said, only the words 'of course I did' and the realization of it struck me. "Oh god...", I said, shaking my head. My face reddened and the tears began to fall.

"I've come at such a strange time," he said."I know..." he mumbled. "You have a life?"

"I don't know what I have," I said, tears streaming down my face.

I had said it out loud, I wasn't sure what Mulder and I had. I laughed nervously, looking up at the ceiling as if the answer were up there. "I mean, your X-rays were in the wrong envelope, I wouldn't even known you were here if it weren't for a mix up," I continued to avoid his eyes. "Its just...", I sighed, finally looking at him, tears continuing to fall.

"What do you want Dana?", he asked, catching me off guard.

I shook my head slightly, "I want everything I should want at this time in my life", I said breathing heavily. "Maybe, I want the life I didn't choose," I said, as a heaviness weighed down my heart.

He reached out his hand and I stared at it a few minutes. I touched his hand and tears starting falling. He gripped it and I laid my head on his chest, trying not to cry, trying not to remember those dreams I had that will never come true..._**C**____**hildren. **_I closed my eyes as he stroked my hair. I raised up slightly. This was different, yes, it was familiar but this didn't feel right. He wasn't Mulder but I laid my head back down, feeling contact with skin I barely received anymore; that which I longed for so much and used to have prior to Mulder, and that's when Daniel's heart stopped.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Fate in a Trench Coat**

**Part 4**

**by Trycee**

**Time Frame: All Things, Season 7: Scully has to confront her guilt over the past.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, its owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I wrote this for fun not profit.**

*****I first wrote this in August 2010 but I thought I'd update it.**

I just remember jumping into action, trying to save Daniels life. I was working on pure adrenaline. I had been lying there on his chest, my eyes closed, willing myself to accept the familiar feelings of his touch, of any man's touch, and I heard the beeps of the monitor and I knew he was in trouble. What happened after that was a blur...

I went back to Colleen's house because Mulder wasn't there and I needed to talk to someone. I just had this feeling I needed to speak to her, I don't know why. I was struck by the religious artifacts in her home. It was so bright, intriguing. Being a Catholic though I had no ideal what these Eastern religious relics were. All the lines, the symmetry, wood contrasting with metals and ceramics, it was breath-taking.

Talking with Colleen I was surprised to find out she too had been a scientist. Its not easy for me to go past that. I've been trying for years to open my mind and I've glimpsed some amazing things, unexplainable but I still remain a skeptic. Besides, its important to our relationship, Mulder's and mine, that I be the rational minded one. I balance him out. I listened as she told me her story about fear of what others would think about her relationship to a woman. I was thinking about how it must've looked for Daniel and I too be together back then, how odd a pairing we made. I was his daughters age and something suddenly struck me about how wrong, purely wrong that truly was. It had never occurred to me before. When she said that when we hold on to fear, shame, and guilt referring to Daniels heart condition, I was sure she was speaking to me as well. I've held on to that guilt for more years than I'd like to remember.

"It creates imbalance," Colleen had explained. "It makes us forget who we are."

But what really struck me as strange was when I was standing in her kitchen playing with some metal statue of whatever it was as she made us tea and she mentioned out of the blue about time standing still. How odd that I had just experienced that several times now. Her answer about Daniels sickness was something my sister Melissa would've said. I used to dismiss Missy but for some reason it rang true this time when Colleen said it. I wasn't sure if it was true or not but it just _felt_ true. "Everything happens for a reason," she had said.

I grabbed some flowers and raced back to the hospital, I needed to talk about the past with him, get out my feelings about the shame I felt, talk about his shame. I walked in to find Maggie standing in the hallway distraught.

"Are you happy," she said approaching me, her eyes blazing.

"I'm sorry? I...I was just going up to see your father", I said, barely able to look her in the eye.

"You can't! He's in a coma!"

"Since when?"

"Since about two minutes after you _supposedly _saved his life!"

I tried to rush to him but she stood in my way. I stopped and my eyes hit the floor.

"Did you have any ideal the hell you created in our lives?", she confronted me.

"Maggie, to be honest, I left so there wouldn't be any hell in your lives," I said finally looking at her directly.

She stood in front of me, her hands on her hips. "Don't try to be reasonable with me. I am so sick of trying to be reasonable! You moved on but we've had to live with what you left behind!", she said, storming past me out the door.

As I walked out of the hospital, time again slowed down. I tossed the flowers in the garbage and I was walking unaware of where I was going really. That's when I stopped walking I noticed a sign swinging. I was in China town. Time slowed even more and then I saw her, the woman in the trench coat walking and I started running towards her. And that's when I was struck by a bicyclist. I sped up trying to catch up to this mysterious woman and stood at the brown door she had entered. I opened it cautiously and walked inside and was immediately greeted by greenery all around. it was a temple of some kind with large doors, where they led I did not know. I pushed the door open and again was struck at the beauty of it. There were cushions on the floor, candles, bright blue lights streaming down from the ceiling and a gigantic statue of Buddha against the back wall. I walked in, looking all around me and I walked right up towards the blue lights. I could see the Golden Buddha statue, it was extraordinary and I had chills go through me. I don't know why I knelt down, its the Catholic in me that kneels when in awe of the miraculous I guess, but I suddenly started rocking my head back and forth, rocking until my head was underneath the blue streaming lights. When I did reach underneath it, I saw a golden vision, flashes of images; My fathers funeral, my father in his uniform visiting me when I was dying, Mulder, Melissa, myself, Mulder again, then Collen, my beautiful daughter Emily, Mulder and me, like a television screen. And then I saw Daniel naked, his body shriveled up, and his heart was beating and I could see inside his heart and then he was mouthing something and his eyes opened to look at me, scaring me.

I sighed loudly opening my eyes and I was back in the temple like a journey. I had gone on a journey and I was shaken. I looked around but no one else was there and then I looked back at the Buddha.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Fate in a Trench Coat**

**Part 5**

**by Trycee**

**Time Frame: All Things, Season 7: Scully has to confront her guilt over the past.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, its owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I wrote this for fun not profit.**

*****I first wrote this in August 2010 but I thought I'd update it.**

Colleen stood in the back of the hospital room, a healer was standing over Daniel, and I stood next to Colleen, nervously pacing the floor and listening as the healer explained his method of healing, something I was very unfamiliar with. Dr. Kopeikan came in, "Dr. Scully, who do you think you are?"

"We have nothing but Dr. Waterston's welfare in mind here," I said.

Offended he said to me, "You're not his doctor."

"I understand that. What's taking place here is an alternative approach, " I said barely able to get the words out of my own mouth.

He looked at Daniel and then back at me. "Whats taking place here is a waste of time, Dr. Scully. And I think that Dr. Waterston would be the first to agree with me. Have you considered that?"

"I just wanted to help him, " I said, looking into Dr. Kopeikans eyes. "It seemed like nothing else was working."

"All due respect, " he said, pointing at me. "That is not for you to access. Its for me or Dr. Waterston's family to decide."

I nearly jumped when I heard her voice behind me. "Then let them continue," she said.

I turned to face Maggie, she walked right up to me and Dr. Kopeikan.

"If it isn't hurting him, we should at least be open to it," she said to the doctor.

She turned to look at me and I was grateful but I saw something in her eyes. The look of my old friend, the one I had betrayed.

The healer chimed in, "I'm afraid there's nothing more I can do at this time. This man quite frankly is ready to move on but something seems to be holding him back. Unfinished business is binding him to the physical plane, something he needs to release before he can let go."

I nervously looked towards Maggie and she met my gaze. I knew it was me. I knew it immediately that it was me. I went home still in a daze, I took a shower and tried to make myself some tea but it all seemed unreal, like a dream. I must've been dreaming because I saw myself going to Daniels bedside but when I looked at him I saw myself looking like I did throughout my cancer. I jolted out of bed and the phone was ringing, it was Maggie telling me she needed me to come to the hospital right away. She hung up before I could find out why.

I was very surprised when I saw Daniel sitting in the bed..."You were slipping away, no one thought you'd come out of this. I'm still in shock."

"Imagine my shock when my doctor told me about the voodoo ritual you'd arranged for last night. "

"I was afraid it didn't work," I said, nervously.

"Of course it didn't work, don't be absurd! Where'd you get this crap?"

I looked at him then. "Daniel that 'crap' may have just saved your life. Whether you're open to it or not!"

He shook his head. "That doesn't matter, I don't want to talk about that."

I looked off, my mind on Mulder.

"Look at me, " he demanded. "I'm gonna get well. We need to talk about what happens next for us."

"I spoke at length to Maggie," I told him.

He looked away from me.

"Its time, time that you took responsibility for the hurt you caused your family. Its no accident that you got sick, Daniel. You've been running from the truth for 10 yrs."

He shook his head more, "Dana, it was all to be with you, " he whispered. "You were all I lived for."

A tear was forming in my eye, "Maybe the reason you're alive now is to make up for that."

Maggie and I had sat for more than an hour talking about our past friendship and the betrayal I had caused her. I had asked her to forgive me for what I'd done. She told me she forgave me and I could literally feel the weight on my heart lifted. I was free and now it was time to tell Daniel how I really felt.

"Make it up to Maggie, " I continued.

He laughed. "That's Maggie talking not you."

"No!", I said staunchly.

He looked confused. I had never raised my voice in any way to him before. "I'm not the same person Daniel. I wouldn't have known that had I not seen you again."

Half in shock and half proud of myself for finally **exorcising** my demons, I felt free, freer than I had in many years. I turned behind me and found Maggie standing there. I looked one last time back at Daniel and I turned and walked away.

I sat outside the hospital as my mind replayed the events between Daniel and I, and that's when I noticed that time was again slowing down. I wasn't afraid anymore and that's when I saw her again, the woman in the trench coat walking. I jumped up to catch her this time.

"Excuse me, " I yelled, turning her shoulder around and somehow it wasn't her standing before me, no, it was Mulder in a trench-coat and a hat just like the woman had been wearing. How did that happen? I was surprise, elated, but still so very shocked. He explained to me that there 'was nothing to find in England, no case, a big waste of time' as he put it.

I sighed. "Maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason."

He looked surprised. "What does that supposed to mean?"

I smiled. "Nothing...come on I'll make you some tea..."

We ordered a pizza and were waiting on it to arrive. I spent the time curled up right next to him, telling him everything that happened. This was a first for us, I typically held back my past relationships, my experiences with unknown phenomenon but this time I told it all. I had never felt more close to him than I did at that moment. I wanted to be closer but sleep overtook me and I fell asleep on his shoulder. I could feel the warmth of the blanket that he'd apparently wrapped me in as I laid on his couch. But then I felt his strong arms as he picked me up and placed me in his bed. God, it smelled like Mulder. I was half conscious when I felt him staring at me and I felt his lips brush against mine. I awoke to him kissing me softly like he had been waiting for a moment like this all of his life. I knew he couldn't resist. I couldn't resist either and I didn't want too any more. I knew he was the one, the only one and I didn't have anything to fear. I didn't need to hold back anymore. I could let myself be free, free to love this man openly as I had done secretly. There was no other choice for me. Mulder was it! He was my fate!

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**The End**


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